How to Tell if Your Child is a Bully

December 17, 2008 by  
Filed under Bullies and Children, Featured

Many parents do not want to admit that their child is a bully. And if they do, they want to pass it off as a childish phase that the child is going through. It is important for parents to realise that bullying is not a normal behaviour and it is a very serious situation. There are certain things that parents can look for to ensure that their child is not a bully and if they are that they cease this behaviour as soon as possible. Bullying can have very serious long term not only on the victims but on the bully themselves.

Children who are bullies have very little empathy for other people. They tend to be short tempered and are easily aggravated and impulsive. They often tend to be sore losers and bad winners. They are controlling and aggressive. Children who bully tend to get into fights frequently with their siblings and with other children.

Watch how your child interacts with others. Do they exclude certain children from playing? Do they always have to be in control and be the leader? Are they aggressive towards others? Does the play involve hitting or physical contact?

Children who are bullies do not respond well to rules and discipline. Talk to your child’s teachers and find out how they are behaving at school. Does your child have a lot of friends? How do they interact? Your child may not be the bully but may be a part of a group that is bullying others. As a way of fitting in with a peer group your child may be behaving out of character.

Joking between friends is fine but should only go so far. If one child is constantly being singled out this is bullying. If the jokes are hurtful or discriminating the behaviour should be stopped. If the jokes are intended to humiliate or embarrass the other child it is bullying. If the other child is not responding in a joking laughing manner but seems to be fearful or timid it could be bullying.

Spreading rumours or gossiping about other children in a hurtful way is a form of bullying. Emotional bullying can have very damaging effects. Sending cruel or hurtful e-mails or text messages is another form of bullying. Children use these methods to intimidate and humiliate others. Making fun of another child when they are not present and are unable to defend themselves could be bullying.

If you suspect that your child is bullying in any way, your best possible course of action is talking with your child about correct behaviour. Your child may not think they are a bully and they might not realise the hurt that are causing others. It is important for them to realise that these behaviours are hurtful to everyone and are not tolerated.


3 Responses to “How to Tell if Your Child is a Bully”

  1. Dezarae on September 27th, 2010 10:08 am

    This is great, but what about actual tactics one could use to correct ther childs bullying?? My son is a bully and we have tried seemingly everything and the behaviour continues. He is in counselling and gets grounded off of his favourite toys all the time. We speak to him about it, he writes apology letters, he has to have 15 minutes timeouts in the “thinking room” at school. Yet his behaviour continues.

    I would like to see more information for parents who have a bully as a child. Not jsut ways to stop a bully from the victims perspective.

  2. bob on September 28th, 2010 8:17 am

    this is so true

  3. Bill on July 14th, 2012 11:56 am

    Both my wife and I were bullied, beat up and humiliated constantly in our ski town so full of rich snobs. Since then, OUR children have learned self defense that works, that hurts bad. Maybe a broken nose or bruised foot goes a long, long way. And, when the bullies parents step in to challenge the us parents, well lets just say they get their eyes opened. Sorry to inform you, being nice and education means nothing to these imps. That is for adults, not kids. Anyway, we have taught or kids effective skills to keep moving, run or fight and notify us, not the school. The schools and police always rule on the wealthy parents side. It is/was obvious. You don’t need a “specialist” to tell you.
    The really cool part is all of my and my wife’s bullies have forgotten what they did to us. We sometimes frequent that old ski town and run into them. We watch them cower and run in fear of getting their butts beat in front of their friends and kids (whom surely are bullies too). Then they wonder what they did to deserve that from people they don’t even know. Ha Ha See you on the slopes ski teamers! Do you remember how many of us there are?
    Trust me, the only way they understand is to experience the same treatment. Money means nothing.

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!