Why Do Children Bully?

December 17, 2008 by  
Filed under Bullies and Children

There are many reason why children become bullies. In order to stop the bullying cycle you have to find out the reasons behind a bully actions. If you can understand why a child is acting in a certain way you can give them the tools they need to function in a different a and acceptable manner.

Bullies often see violence, or forms of verbal abuse in the home. They may feel that communicating in this was is perfectly normal. They are simply acting out anger and frustration in the same way other members of their family do. Teaching the child ways to communicate these feelings without bullying will go al long way to ending the cycle.

Bullies sometimes act out of fear. They are trying not to show their own inabilities. They do not want other children to become more popular, or to do better them. They try to make the other child feel self conscious, humiliated or embarrassed. By devaluating others they hope to show their own self worth in these eyes of their peers. Bullies often are popular children who believe that they have to maintain their status by lowering others.

Children sometimes bully others who are different from themselves. The bully may target children who may have different religious beliefs, or a different culture. Some of these beliefs may come from the home, and some of just of fear or lack of understanding about something that this different or alien.

Some children become bullies because they want attention. They find that any attention is better than none. They like the feeling of being in control and of having power over others. Some children do not even realise how much their behaviour is affecting others. They may see it is being cool. These children need to learn how to sympathise with others.

When dealing with any kind of bully it is very important to get to the root of the bullies behaviour. Their behaviour often continues into adulthood, if it is not addressed. Children who become bullies are more likely to get into crime, do drugs, or become alcoholics. If children are given the correct tools they can overcome their problems and stop bulling others.


9 Responses to “Why Do Children Bully?”

  1. leah michelle on October 4th, 2010 4:52 am

    all kids get bullied its not right and i think it should stop but thats my opinion i got bullied once it waznt nice at all, it was all over because one boy didnt like me and turned he whole school against me because he was popular and everyone liked him well i jst faced up to him and told him that he waznt very nice its not my fault that we had total opposite personalities and he left the school i dont think he liked what i sed, i felt like a bully myself after i told him but it was the right thing to do, so kids out ther who are getting bullied jst stand up to them and tell them you are not scared of them even if you are gbecause they will jst do it more if you let them thinkl you are. x

  2. Desha on May 13th, 2012 11:24 am

    Bullying Is Not Nice At All , Most People Do It For Attention Or Jhuss To Be Cool . Telling Bullies You Arent Scared Of Them Is An Whole Different Thinqq With Showinq Them Your’e Not . You Might Have To Know They Ass Out , Jhus To Let Em Know You Anit NO Scary Person. I Mean WHY Be Scared Of Someone Who Is Around The Same Age As You Are ?

  3. matthew on October 12th, 2012 7:38 am

    i don’t think that its good that you are trying to teach kids that its good to fight
    i know that you did not try to make it sound that way but you should really think about changing your name

  4. Rosie on March 27th, 2013 4:36 pm

    I’m writing a personal essay for school and i picked bullying. I saw this website and got SOOOO much info for my essay! I also went through a small amount of depression last year. But when ever they would say or do mean things to me, i would just say ” You must be in a really bad mood today considering your bullying a girl who knows were that principles office is.” or ” Oh thanks you too, have a nice day!” I also love Dorie from ” Finding Nemo” I would sing to myself, ” Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming!’ I LOVE THIS WEB SITE!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. melissa on April 16th, 2013 11:33 am

    love it

  6. sj on May 5th, 2013 7:32 pm

    bullys are stuped people they are scared of getting bullyed them selfs so they bully someone elsa so they look scary and people leave them

  7. sj on May 5th, 2013 7:35 pm

    if theres a bully bullying you walk away or find out why my real name is not sj my real name will be unno

  8. Sue on May 29th, 2013 9:15 am

    I know of someone who only bullies a few people, and are very loving and kind to others. Is this called selective bullying? (These other people would never know that this person bullies others) I’ve been bullied all my life, and I don’t believe that there will ever be an end to it. But this person who bullies me has a nice home with a pool, a good education, a high paying job, and I only have an associates degree. Why would this person want to bother me when I’ve done nothing to them and they are better off. I also think that the mother encouraged this person to bother me. Why would the mother encourage the daughter to do things to me? Did the mother encourage the bullying, did she bully her own daughter?

  9. debbie hicks on January 20th, 2016 12:15 am

    my step-grandson always bullies my 8 year old grandson. my step-grandson is 10 years old and 3 times my grandson’s weight. when the parents are not around the step-grandson gets on top of my 8 year old grandson and grabs him by the throat. his MOTHER tells me that they are playing. please, tell my daughter-in-law that this is not playing and it will not happen again in my home. or I may be forced to call the cops. I do not want to call the cops, but I will probably have to take this up with the law if my step-grandson does this again in my home.

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